Traffic Jam from Hell

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You're on your way home from a stressful day dealing with idiots who act like mindless zombies when you stop unexpectedly on the road due to a traffic jam, much like the one portrayed in this photo. You're about to get out when chaos erupts from everywhere. Gun shots, helicopters buzzing above, waves of bloodied pedestrians walking/running past your car occupy your attention at once. Switching the radio on, all you here is a generic emergency broadcast message. Outside, passersby’s speak of cannibals and zombies, their loved ones coming back from the gates of hell to attack the living. Your worst fear is realized and you are miles from your well-fortified house. The telltale moaning that accompanies the legions of the dead can be heard over the battlefield that has become State Road 31. Are you prepared to face the undead horde with what you have in your trunk? Follow these three steps to find out!

Step One: Don't Panic! Since you are reading this, it means that the scenario above hasn't happened and you have time to prepare for it. Unless you’re in the traffic jam using an iPhone. I suggest not trying to brain the zombies with your iPhone. They weren’t made for that.

Step Two: Pack an emergency backpack that will hold everything you’ll need. You’ll have to abandon the car because of the traffic jam. It would be pointless. The contents of your pack will vary depending on your environment. If you live in a generally cold place make sure to pack your fuzzy mittens. The essentials though should contain: First Aid Kit, “The Zombie Survival Guide”, energy bars, bottled water, a map of the city/state, comfortable hiking shoes, and a weapon.

Step Three: When traveling, be it alone or in a group, confront zombies as little as possible. It’s a time saver as well as a life saver. The television show, “The Walking Dead” provide examples of avoiding confrontation. The link is from AMC’s website. There is mature content in the way of blood and zombified gore. Click here to view the video.

Next blog I’ll discuss what types of weapons are suitable to defend yourself from zombies. Please comment with your preferred way of sending zombies back to where they belong and join me next time to see if your weapon of choice is up to snuff.