Anti-Gun = Pro Undead

Hello! We have survived yet another apocalypse while predicting another. What I blog about today however may not be considered an apocalypse, it is certainly a path that we as Americans should not travel down. That is the current movement of banning assault rifles and other firearms that are considered by some to be too excessive.

On a somewhat separate tangent I would like to apologize for not keeping up with my blogging. I have increased the number of classes and therefore have reduced my spare time. This spare time has been well spent with countless hours of Skyrim and Doctor Who. One of my classes this last semester was CMLT-C190 Introduction to Film. It has currently opened my eyes to a new way of viewing cinema and as a response to the above paragraph, I will argue the need for "excessive" firearms by comparing two films. As in any other blog of mine, the zombie apocalypse will be the center of these two films.

Before I start, I would like to say that the Sandy Hook Elementary School Shooting was a very tragic and horrific event. I am not trying to belittle or make fun of this event in any way. This blog is and always will be dedicated to the looming zombie apocalypse and does not condone shooting anything living. Unless of course the virus turns people into rage crazy people like in 28 Days Later & 28 Weeks Later.

Speaking of 28 Days Later, this film takes place in London after the release of a deadly virus that turns people into crazy rage infected plague carriers that turn people with just one single drop of infected blood. In less than twenty eight days later, hence the title, the whole British Isle is quarantined due to the infection. The main characters make it past every monster ridden obstacle, but are stopped when they come across Christopher Eccleston and his band of vigilante gun wielding commandos.

Here is why this fictional version of Britain fell to their version of the zombie apocalypse: firearms are banned. Think about it. If firearms were not banned in England, the spread of the infection would have been a lot slower and quite possibly prevented. How can I prove this?

George Romero in his film Night of the Living Dead (1968), provides the proof that having firearms strengthens a nation against the looming threat of the zombie apocalypse. At the very end of the film the protagonist Ben survives the night and views the saviors of humanity in action.

That salvation rests in the hands of both hillbillies and law enforcement as they clear the fields of Pennsylvania of any signs of the undead.

Guns don't kill people, zombies kill people. Guns kill zombies. These two movies are proof that having firearms are the key to surviving a zombie apocalypse.

As a side note, I have recently helped a good college buddy of mine by editing his novel, "The Book of Roland". Marty Chapin has been working on it for years and has finally published it on Amazon.com. For a short time, the book is being given away for free as a promotion, but it won't last for long. It is the tale of two people trying to survive a zombie apocalypse inside of our home state of Indiana.

As always, remember: The Zombie Apocalypse isn't a matter of IF, it's a matter of WHEN!

Stupid Americans!

Okay, first I would like to say that I myself am an American. I pledge allegiance to the flag like every other citizen of this fair country. Wake up people, don't you all realize what your doing?

Zombie Theme Park
Zombie Walks
Zombie Pranks

These are just a few of the mindless things Americans do when given a true apocalyptic event. They make it a joke and have fun with the problem.

A zombie theme park is okay if your trying to promote survival, but don't charge admittance. Your providing the attendees important survival knowledge for when the apocalypse does happen.

Zombie walks? Do we dress up as drunken drivers or the Bubonic Plague to celebrate things that kill us? No, we don't. So why are we dressing up as undead killers?

The Miami Cannibal provoked many people to try and get a rise out of the growing fear of cannibal/zombie attacks. This guy on the link attempts this idiotic stunt and not only succeeds in frightening some people, but also gets a gun pointed at him, a basketball thrown at him, and at the end of the video he clearly gets beat up. That isn't shown, but that would be the highlight of that video.

George Romero also shows Americans having fun with the undead in his movie Land of the Dead. How are we survivors of the Zombie Apocalypse supposed to decipher the undead and those that are only actors?

Don't celebrate the undead, shoot them in head. Make sure they aren't stupid living people first.

Have a happy Fourth of July and remember, fireworks distract the undead.

Training Sessions

All right everyone let's face it, the Zombie Apocalypse has not happened yet. How do we train for something that catastrophic? We can't go outside with our rifles and start popping people in the heads. Well, we could but I don't advise it. Video games my fellow survivors. They provide intense situations that call for preparedness and fast reflexes. Here are a few that can be used as decent zombie training.

Red Dead Redemption: Undead Nightmare
This is the only game that I know where you have to shoot the zombie in the head for it to go down. The limited amount of ammunition is realistic and the fact that you get to ride on the four horses of the Apocalypse, even though it pertains to nothing we are discussing, is still bad a$$.

The Left 4 Dead series
Just in case the zombies that eventually make themselves known are fast, running, and can explode in a pile of goo then we have ourselves the ultimate in zombie virtual training. Seriously though, teamwork is essential when the Zombie Apocalypse happens and in this series teamwork is how a person survives. Add in the realistic settings and the sense of utter hopelessness when a horde of the undead run around the corner heading your way make for an interesting and worthwhile training tool.

The Dead Rising series
These games take Left 4 Dead and make the game funny. Dressing up as a Lego man and incinerating the undead using a Mega Man Blaster is just breathtaking. The reason it makes the list is its use of everyday weapons that can be used. Lawn Mowers gain a whole new meaning.

Call of Duty Black Ops & World at War
These games are similar to the Left 4 Dead series only they don't involve special infected. Again the use of teamwork, limited ammo, and even the barricades are prime reasons one should play these games to prepare for the living dead.

Dead Island
I almost forgot about this game. Not surprising as I had to literally throw the game down in frustration. I love this game, but it is a pain in my butt. Take Left 4 Dead and mix it with Grand Theft Auto and you have a game that is pure brilliance. The creation of weapons, enhancing on already created ones, the durability factor, and the story gives players chills. Oh, I also love the main theme song. Anyone that says they beat this game without any help from others, I call shenanigans.

Resident Evil
I would never say that the last few RE games were bad, far from it, but stay away from RE 4 and 5 if you want a pure zombie hunting experience. The last two have nothing to do with the zombies that are under consideration. The others are a great tool when you consider limited inventory, ammo, and the occasional time when combining a red and a green plant to create something that heals you. I know it's weird that every home in Raccoon City would have these plants, but not weird when you watch the movies. I would never say that the last few RE games were bad, but the last few movies were. Ouch, it hurts just thinking about them.

Anyway, take care and if I've forgotten any that can be used as an extreme zombie annihilation tool, please feel free to comment. 

P.S.
Paul W.S. Anderson: You should be ashamed of what you've done to the Resident Evil games.

Early Onset Zombies

So, I ask you all out there in the internet world: What is the logical explanation for this picture? A zombie outbreak happened and a last ditch attempt was made to board up the house. OR it is a picture taken of Flint, Michigan?

Well, unfortunately for both myself and for the inhabitants of this house there hasn't been an undead outbreak. It's just a typical house one would find in Flint, Michigan.

I don't wish to give the impression that every house in Flint, Michigan advertises Human Sacrifices. The picture speaks for itself on that account. Anyway there is some good values to learn from this picture. Take for instance the boarded up windows and door. This is an excellent way to prevent zombies, and robbers, from bursting into your living room.

Plus it also speaks to the darker side of zombie survivors. The sign, graffiti hopefully, in a zombified world would offer ominous tidings to anyone that tries to enter. One reason for the sign would be that it is used to scare off potential living robbers.

The second reason would be that the inhabitants inside have zombified relatives and they believe that there is some cure. Anyone stupid enough to enter would become the main course to uncle undead Fred.

Finally, the third reason is that the inhabitants inside need living people to distract the zombies outside the house in order for the occupants to escape. The only way this blogger knows how to distract a zombie is to provide them with a meal.

Well, hopefully this has been an informative post not just for survivors of the zombie apocalypse, but for those living in Flint, Michigan. Don't enter houses with signs on them advertising a Miami Special.

Picture Credit

Weaponized Wednesdays

Welcome back all you Zombie Hunters to Weaponized Wednesdays! This edition I will glorify the use of the .44 Magnum. Some may think that this isn't an actual weapon, but it is an essential part of one. Without the appropriate ammunition, we would be lunch for the zombie hordes outside our doors.
When compared to the 9mm, the .44 is more effective against zombies. Here are the advantages of the 9mm:
1. They are cheap compared to the .44
2. They can stop human attackers effectively.
3. They are common throughout the gun world.
4. The cartridge size of most guns using 9mm are larger.

These are all great reasons for using the 9mm in normal times. This cannot be said for the Zombie Apocalypse. The .44 magnum is my personal choice for many reasons:
1. Dirty Harry used a .44 Smith & Wesson. Shouldn't that be enough? No, oh well.
2. I have a feeling that one shot of .44 to a zombie's head will pretty much clean it out while the 9mm might miss the essential part of the brain that needs destroyed. Maybe that's why 9mm pistols need more than 6 shots.
3. In the words of Peter Griffin: "C'Mon"

This is just my personal choice of ammunition and not by any means a scientific research involving double blind surveys. If someone tries to blind fold a zombie, you better have a .44 around. Join us next time for another wonderful Weaponized Wednesday!

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Cannibals Vs. Zombies: Who Bites and why?

Due to recent articles including the Miami cannibal attacks and the mother eating her child, the differences between Zombies and Cannibals must be cleared. That way we can determine how to deal with them when they come for dinner.

Round One: Intelligence
While zombies are able to manipulate small objects and have a lack of motor skills, the cannibals are the exact opposite. Some are even able to manipulate normal people into eating their own brains.
Winner: Cannibal

Round Two: Odds of Encounter
Let's face it sportsfans, the Zombie Apocalypse is still in the horizon. The Carnival of Cannibals however has been spinning their carousel for many a years.
Winner: Cannibal

Round Three: Deadliness
Zombies are tough to kill, have an incredible way of spreading their disease, plus they have numbers. Cannibals are easy to kill (one shot to the gut), have no diseases (we hope), and are few in number (we hope).
Winner: Zombie

Ultimate Winner: Cannibal
I really was voting for the zombie throughout this entire match, but the numbers are against me. Plus I think it would be sorta unethical to blog about killing cannibals. They are human after all, but isn't that why we love zombies? Because they aren't human, but still look like us?

Joke of the Day:
Two cannibals are eating a zombie. (I know, but go with me on this.)
One says to the other, "Does this taste funny to you?"
The other one turns and says, "MWARRR!!!"
Get it? He turned into a zombie cause he ate a zombie. Fun Times!

Weaponized Wednesdays!

Welcome to Weaponized Wednesdays where I'll review an awesome zombie slaying weapon that when the zombie apocalypse begins, you'll be rip roaring and ready to eradicate your way through the undead horde! The first weapon to grace the inaugural Wednesday blog is the Crowbar!!!

....what? ....a crowbar? You're probably wondering what makes a crowbar an ideal tool against the undead horde. Here are my reasons why I like this tool:
1. A crowbar doesn't need bullets. Nuff said.
2. Either end can be used as a way to bash in the skull of a zombie.
3. You don't need a permit to carry this item inside your car.
4. It's a multipurpose tool. If you need to open up a door that has been nailed shut, this is your tool.
5. It's rather inexpensive when compared to a handgun.
6. The Joker killed Robin with a crowbar. It should be able to handle a few zombies.
7. It's silent.
 The last post I talked about being prepared in case an infection broke out while you're in transit. The crowbar makes a great weapon mostly for the fact that it's legal to own and carry around. It's also nice because it doesn't cause loud gunshots that would alert the walking dead to your location. Plus it fits in your backpack. Overall, I believe the crowbar to be one of the best melee weapons when engaging zombies.
It was eerie to read about the Miami Cannibal attack. I would like to know what you, the readers, thoughts are about the attack. Was it the start of the zombie apocalypse or was it just a man tweaked out on LCD?


Picture Credit